Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
