forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
