Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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