All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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