just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
