You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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