I have demons in me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
