He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
