You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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