apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
