I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
