The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize