And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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