I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
