I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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