I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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