im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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