By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
