That's intense
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
