Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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