Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think my moral compass just broke
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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