I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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