I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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