we're blogging at a bar
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
