shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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