It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
