I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
