Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
