i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Couch. On fire.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
