if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
