Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
