Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
