forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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