If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
