We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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