Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
