don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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