We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
they need to just BURY HIM!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize