i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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