Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is the high leading the old right now
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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