Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize