when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
