ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
