Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
