I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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