you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have feelings that need drinking.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
