just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need water and some morals
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
