I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
