i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
