Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
