small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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