Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
