My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize