Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
