I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
