im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize