After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
