wakey wakey hands off snakey
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
