Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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