That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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