doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
