That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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