do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
