Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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