Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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