he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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