I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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