is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
