Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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