i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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