This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
