I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
