i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
