worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
