We're like a lot better than the average bears
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
