The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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